This morning I weighed myself.
I used to weigh 180.
That’s pretty great, when you think that I haven’t even been watching what I eat or working out. Maybe it’s time to apply myself and actually try to lose some of this extra weight that I put on over the past few years. I mean, having 3 kids can help you add-on the pounds if you’re not careful and I really wasn’t at all.
I enjoy eating. I have a huge sweet tooth and when I get stressed out or emotional, I tend to stuff my food hole with sugary treats, or if I’m feeling really bad, everything including the kitchen sink.
So I guess I’m saying that I’ve decided to actually try to lose weight.
I am going to eat proper healthy food everyday of the week but one. That one designated day will be my cheat day. The day when I can eat fast food and junk food in moderation. I’m gonna be getting back into my exercise program. Weight training and cardio, just like before.
It’s hard when you’re heavy, eating in public is difficult. I try not to look into the eyes of anyone around me, because chances are I’ll see their judgement there. That look that says ‘should you really be eating that?‘ or ‘that’s why you’re so fat, no self-control‘ or even worse ‘that’s why she’s such a fat pig‘.
I know what I look like people, thanks but you can just keep that crappy judgement to yourself.
But I’m not trying to lose weight for my appearance, although that’s a bonus. No, I want to lose the stress of shopping and never being able to find something in my size. Stores never carry my size, and the stuff that is in my size looks like it’s been designed for some fat broad that’s still in the belief that paisley is hot, and still thinks that muumuus are the bomb!
It’s hard to believe that just a few years ago I was fit enough to run, skate and swim all day long. Now, I can’t run. My knees are starting to give me trouble. I get out of breath when I swim with the kids. Even skipping can become hard for me, since I get that rope in my hands and my body remembers how I did it as a kid, my skill is still there but my body just can’t keep up with it. I swear I’m going to give myself a heart attack or a stroke if I try to jump rope for more than a minute or so. It’s so frustrating.
My family deserves better than this. I deserve better than this.