The Eensy Weensy Spider

I guess you could take yesterdays traumatic occurrence as further proof that the universe has it in for me.

In my house the constant reminder to my children to brush their teeth is repeated a few times a day, followed by the question, have you brushed your teeth yet, to which the reply is an semi-honest “No, but I’ll do it in a few seconds.”
This is answer is only a partial truth because they are being truthful about not yet brushing their teeth, but the bit about doing it in a few seconds is complete hogwash.
Even Hubby doesn’t have a good track record when it comes to oral hygiene, which trust me is a huge problem in our relationship.  He brushes his teeth once or twice a day, and to me that is just way too ick.  Three times a day, whenever you eat at the very least is a mandatory thing for me.
Anyways, as you can see my family isn’t that diligent about the cleaning of the teeth, but I am the exact opposite.  I brush my teeth every single morning with two different types oftoothpaste, one right after the other, then I floss and brush again with a third toothpaste.  This is followed up with a rinse of the mouthwash, non-alcoholic of course.
When I eat this is repeated, before I head off to bed this is repeated.  I guess it’s almost an obsessive compulsive thing with me.  I must have clean teeth.  I can’t stand that fuzzy feeling that plaque causes on my teeth and the minute I feel it I must run and scrub my toothies.
That being said, I brushed my teeth yesterday morning and did my normal routine.  I ate lunch and missed brushing my teeth which at the time I felt horrific about.
Then Hubby came home and suggested we head out for a bit, so I ran up the stairs to scrub the pearly whites and I picked up my Oral B electronic toothbrush and was about to pull the cap off when I noticed there was something inside the cap.  I immediately cursed my kids because I thought that they must have been goofing around with my toothbrush when I sent them up to clean their own teeth.
I put the brush (with cap still on it) close to my eyes so I could get a good look at whatever it was they’d stuck in there, when suddenly it moved.
I dropped the toothbrush, or flung it far from me might be a better description.
“Hubby!”  I screamed as I twitched and spasmed.  “Get up here, now!”
When the Hubby started to groan and moan about how this better be something good I simply answered him with one little word.
Yes folks, there was a pale, ghostly looking eight legged monster caressing my bristles and crawling all over my personal toothbrush.  Of course I ran from the room while I made my wonderful spousal unit throw said toothbrush out into the trash can in the back yard immediately.
And then I began to bemoan the fact that the blasted spider had chosen my toothbrush.  Why mine?
Out of all the toothbrushes that I have sitting in the stand up in my bathroom, and there are about nine of them, four electric and another 5 of the regular, manual models.  Why did that spider (shudder) have to choose my toothbrush?
I take this as further proof that the universe has it in for me, I mean what if I hadn’t looked down at the last minute and had actually put that living spider inside my mouth and began to brush away.  The very though makes me gag, shudder and basically go into epileptic fits.
I now have a new toothbrush that I’m putting into a sealed container, complete with lock and key.  I’m not taking any chances, now that the arachnid invasion has begun it’s time to arm ourselves and defend our property!

About katastrophes1

Kat is a 20 something girl stuck in a 40 something body. Mom to 3 kids, tormented and amused by 3 crazy dogs. Amateur photographer, self taught crochet junkie. Thinker of crazy thoughts. Where do they come from? Who knows where thoughts occur, they just happen!
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5 Responses to The Eensy Weensy Spider

  1. Gamer says:

    >I would have been on my ass laughing so hard, I'd probably be crying..

  2. boxx says:

    >My teeth hurt to even brush! I'm brushing them, but gently. I've heard that toothbrushes should not be kept on the bathroom counter because when the toilet is flushed, germs fly. A spider would have creeped me out, too. I like to change my toothbrushes often. I like how it feels to have a brand new toothbrush. But, the handles seem so HUGE these days, no?

  3. Kat says:

    >Ouch, I know what it's like to have problems getting your teeth clean because of the pain. I hope you get a good dentist to fix your mouth soon. If I can do it, anyone can.I like the brushes with the thicker, soft rubberized coverings on them, it feels sort of comforting and soothing to me.As for Gamers Comment, SHUT UP! lol

  4. Volly says:

    >Oh, that would have freaked me out bayad too. I usually run the hottest of the hot water over my TB before applying toothpaste – this to be safe in case I FORGOT to do this immediately after brushing. I suspect there's also some faulty childhood belief in there that the hot water will "melt" the toothpaste and "activate" it somehow to make it work better. I then finish this with a tiny splash of mouthwash on the toothbrush to kill more microbes while I'm out trying to earn a living so I can afford to buy Flosspiks.I can skip brushing now and then, but Flosspiks are my absolute addiction. I keep them in EVERY purse I own, just in case I switch bags and get stuck somewhere. When I get down to about 15 piks in the pak, I start to get really nervous. I secretly distrust people who describe spiders as "interesting" or "pretty."

  5. Volly says:

    >Oh, and also, not those cheap "floss picks." My brand is actually called Plackers. The other ones break after the first pass and the handles are too short so you can't get a decent grip.Feh.

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