While I was in the hospital The Son was looked after by my Mom, my Baby Brother, the Hubby and both the Boy and the Daughter. Everybody pitched in.
But my Mom’s recent attempts to play me have made her come forward with a confession.
“When you used to say that you just didn’t have time to get stuff done or to hang out with The Boy and the Daughter the way you wanted to, I always thought that you were just mismanaging your time, but now that I’ve seen how demanding it is to look after him, I see that you weren’t kidding around!”
She followed up that little statement with a description of her day. She got up, made breakfast and fed The Son. She cleaned up the Son and then did the dishes. She then made lunch and fed the Son, cleaned him up and did the dishes. She then started dinner, fed the Son and then did the dishes.
Now I’m sure that she found time to be distracted by the Boy, The Daughter and the Nephew as they were all there in the house at the same time. And perhaps she even got in a few little jobs here and there between the cooking, feeding and cleaning, but they probably weren’t significant enough to note.
The point is that she always thought that I just didn’t know how to fit everything in to my day and now she knows that it’s not true.
It’s also led to her saying that I need a break at least once a month and her telling me that she will be taking the Son at least one weekend a month.
It’s also led to the Hubby and myself deciding that we need to take advantage of respite programs here in the city and I’m not talking the kind that send someone to your house and you’re expected to leave your child alone with them and hope they’ll care for him.
You don’t get to screen those respite service providers, I know because I’ve used them in the past and out of about 6 different women they sent one left the Son unattended in the bath, one argued with me about how to care for the Son the best, one could barely lift him and one ignored him completely and only wanted to wash my dishes in cold water. One lady napped for most of the time she was here. Only one woman was good, she was amazing with the Son and did so much with him. He loved her so much that on the days she was coming he refused to allow me to do anything for him. He only wanted her.
Sadly she was hurt at another clients house and had to go on a very long leave while she went to therapy. We never saw her again.
No, we’ll never go that route again. But in this wonderful city that we live in there is another respite service, a very reputable one that comes highly recomended. We used their service once before and the Son loved it there. We drop him off at their building and pick him up when the time is done. They have a Snoezelen room, a wonderful adapted whirlpool bath that the Son loved. They have dedicated staff, they hold parties and day trips and have visitors come in to entertain the kids, like clowns, performers, music therapists. It’s wonderful.
So I’m going to be getting the forms, paying the money to sign up for the service and then we’ll start making use of it as soon as we can get the Son in.
It’s time for it, that way I can get a break and I can also spend time with my older kids without having to worry about who it inconviences or time restraints because my Mom needs to get out and do stuff.