The kids have been back to school for a week now. I had plans for that week. I was going to be like a race horse leaping out of the gate and going full tilt, working on the house, on projects that I have been procrastinating on for the entire summer. I planned on Friday being like that race horse crossing the finish line head and neck ahead of all the other horses. Sadly, I did not even get a photo-finish. It was more like I was a plow horse, who instead of exploding out of that gate, sat down and chewed on some grass that mysteriously showed up on the groomed track.
That’s right, I didn’t even get out of the gate. Instead my projects are still sitting here, shouting all sorts of obscenities in my head, taunting my lack of ability to actually get them done.
I can’t remember a first week of school that has been so tough and rough on me, and I’ve had harder weeks.
In the past I’ve had to get the kids up, juggle getting Devlin ready for the bus that normally arrived around seven something while at the same time keeping Sean and Ceilidh on track, not letting them loose that morning focus until they were ready to walk out the door. Then once Dev was loaded on the bus, I’d have to rush Sean and Ceilidh to their school, through rain, snow, freezing cold or boiling hot temperatures. Then I’d rush home after dropping the kids at school and get working on all my projects around the house. I’d have 2 loads of laundry under my belt before I even took Sean and Ceilidh to school.
Now, I haven’t even thought about my laundry, the breakfast dishes are sitting in the sink, as well as some of last nights dishes. I just didn’t have the energy to wash one last load of dishes before I managed to crawl my ass into bed.
No energy, that’s my thing right now. I wake up at five, hit snooze and then phone Ceilidh to wake her up and get her moving, and then back to sleep until five-thirty, at which point I get up, go to the bathroom and wash my face and hands, brush my hair and do other things that don’t need to be discussed here. It’s not that kind of blog.
Then I go to the laundry room and move the load of Dev’s bibs and other items of his that needed to cleaned for today, into the dryer. Then it’s upstairs, where Ceilidh and I get Dev up, dressed and start feeding him. We pack up his lunch and feeding pump and any other items needed for the day. Ceilidh usually brings Dev’s bibs and other items up from the dryer while I finish feeding Dev, then he’s pushed out the door and onto his bus at around quarter after seven. At this point Ceilidh finishes getting herself ready and by eight she’s heading out the door.
Sean doesn’t need anything from me in the mornings anymore, except for the odd call to get up when he’s hitting snooze a few too many times in the morning.
But once Devlin leaves my batteries seem to have been depleted. I’m unable to keep my eyes open. I actually doze off for a bit, and wake up when Ceilidh leaves, but that’s a short little break and then I’m off to dream land again.
Why? Why am I so tired? I try to go to bed at a reasonable time. Of course sometimes I can’t shut my brain off and I’m tossing and turning a bit before sleep actually consumes me. But I just can’t figure out why I’m so wiped out.
Should I put up posters in my neighbourhood? ‘Lost, My Get Up and Go. If found please return right away’.