I woke up this morning to that thickness and scratchy throat feeling that lets you know that a cold is just a blink away. I shrugged my shoulders, shook the morning fog out of my brain and climbed out of bed and began my morning routine.
Sadly, last night as I was getting Dev ready for bed I could tell that he was feeling that very same feeling. So now I’m on a strict ‘sickness watch’ with Dev. Congestion levels are on the rise. Feeling his forehead and gauging his temperature every few moments. He’s coughing, is it a real cough from a cold or is he in need of a few puffs of his inhaler?
He was not his happy self this morning. Even my attempt to make him smile and change from grumpy to happy by mentioning that we might go swimming this week was met with his sour and dour grumpy face. Very unusual. Normally the moment swimming is mentioned that boys face lights up and he can’t wait to get his feet wet.
Not every moment is a happy moment with Devlin. Not every moment is one of trial and tribulation either. Some days, and for the most part this has been his norm, he’s happy and joyful and makes me laugh with his antics.
But there are days when he’s not happy. He gets frustrated, wouldn’t you if you couldn’t do the simple things that make it easy to entertain yourself? He can’t tell us what he wants or needs, and thus he tends to throw tantrums and cries until we can figure out what it is he wants or give him something to compensate for that need.
Others looking into our lives must think that we are the most patient people in the universe as we jump through hoops to try and give Devlin what he needs and/or wants. But the truth is, I think he’s the most patient person in the world, as he sits back and hopes that we can figure out what it is that he needs/wants.
There are mornings where Devlin is not cooperative at all, and I can’t for the love of me figure it out what’s wrong. But something is wrong, that much I can tell.
These are the mornings where I just want to hold him, to comfort him and myself as well. I get so frustrated with myself for not being able to just get it, what does he need? Why can’t something so simple be less complicated for him?
I want to hold him on these mornings and let me and him figure out how to soothe each others woes.
But it can’t happen. The morning routine is fast. Everything needs to get done and if I take a moment to hold my little boy, things won’t happen and then the bus will be here and we won’t be ready. So I make a mental promise that tonight we’ll cuddle. We’ll be nice to each other and it will make up for the morning, but really I wonder if it does.